It’s a fresh new year and now that your New Year’s resolutions have been made, it’s time to look at what you wanted most from this New Year. Was it to save your marriage? Was it to experience things that you’ve been denied since you got married? Maybe you wanted to have an open relationship and your spouse or partner was okay with that fact when you talked to them about it. Whatever it is that you’re looking for and whatever it is that you’re thinking of, an extramarital affair is something that can make or break a new year.
When you’re looking for sexual intimacy or even just intimacy in general, it can be hard to convey to your partner that you don’t feel like you’re getting enough sex. There are stigmas against people being what could be considered to be overly sexual in modern society without an acknowledgment that sex is something natural and needed for human beings to be emotionally healthy and happy. Affairs are often used to preserve a marriage while filling in the gaps that marriage is leaving in a person’s life, but if you don’t want to jump straight to an affair and you want to try talking to your spouse or partner about what’s missing in your life, how would you do that?
Yes, it’s hard and no one wants to be completely honest, but when we say to be honest we’re not saying be blunt. This is a sensitive issue that the two of you are having and you’re going to want to make sure that you address her needs as well as yours. Maybe there’s a reason that your spouse doesn’t want to have as much sex chat that you haven’t been noticing. A lot of the time stress can kill the sex drive, so has your spouse been working longer hours than they normally would? Maybe this is why they’re just not feeling it lately. It’s important to make this a discussion and not an accusation otherwise the walls are going to go up on both sides and you’re not going to get anywhere.
Try to figure out something that will work for you.
We could tell you how to seduce each other or what little romantic touches to leave lying around, but the truth of the matter is that you know your spouse much better than we do. Affairs? We know affairs, but the individual people involved are more varied than you could ever imagine. So when we say something that will work for you, we mean that you have to have found the root of the problem first. The solution must be tailored to that problem and we can’t give general advice on it. For example, imagine if we said that you should roleplay to make your sex life better, but the problem that your spouse is experiencing is stress. The added element of roleplay and the expectations that your spouse might think comes along with that could make things worse if you’re not careful.
Don’t stick to the conventional options.
If a convention hasn’t been working for you so far, it’s not going to start working for you just out of the blue. It can be tempting to try the straight and narrow path, but maybe you need to think outside the box. Whether that’s a sexy getaway, sex workshops or deciding that the two of you want to try to add a third person to your bed, you can’t just stick to your regular and conventional options if you want to save your marriage. We’re not saying to forego these options completely. Things like couples counseling can be incredibly beneficial to certain people, but if you’ve tried that and it’s not working for you, it’s time to broaden your horizons.