First Date Conversation Starters : Do’s and Don’ts

Is “conversation” a dying art?

Listening is a skill – there is more to it than you might think. Conversation is an art. It can be beautiful, extrordinary or significant which does qualify as art. Some people are very accomplished speakers. I will tell you a little known fact, according to the top language experts, only approximately 7% of conversation is expressed in words, 38% of communication is in your tone of voice and approximately 55% is communicated by body language.

If she leans toward you – that means she is into you. If she leans away or points her toes toward the door? She is ready to leave. If she touches her face or neck a lot while speaking – signs of lies. Tossing her hair around – flirting. If she shakes her head yes while saying no? Incongruence. That is also a sign of a lie. So if you say, “are you married and she shakes her head yes while saying, “No”? There is something not quite right about that.

Think about that – there is a lot going on when we are conversing with others. Make the most of your conversations and you will benefit in many ways. Don’t let some other fluent guy steal the lady of your dreams. Keep the conversation alive and fun and you will command the attention of every female in the room.

Put the Art in Articulate

Dating is exciting and expensive! You don’t want to spend money on a girl who isn’t worth your hard earned cash. You also don’t want to invest a lot of time into a relationship that will go no where. Ask questions that will help you learn as much about her as possible.

Concentrate on what she is saying but pay attention to body language and cues that will help you know if she could be worth date number 2. Pay attention to her tone of voice. Also be mindful of your own behavior in this respect.

Ask open ended questions to keep the conversation going. Pay attention to key words that she might repeat. Do you hear a lot of “I, I, I or me, me me?” That could be indicative of a girl who is into herself. If she asks you about previous girlfriends – this may be a sign of a jealous woman. Jealous girls are always high maintenance! Pay attention to how she treats other people. Is she nice to other people? Does she seem to complain about everything? Is she bossy? Does she interrupt you when you are speaking? A sign of impatience.

I love a guy with a good sense of humor. I always like to test my date out a little – I will say something like I am totally serious such as, “so have you ever killed anyone?” I say it like I am asking if I am asking if they like golf. I like to watch their facial reaction and see how long it takes them to get my joke or to laugh. These ice breakers really help people to drop their guard.

Body Language of a Flirt – Know What She Really Means!

10 Fun Topics of Conversation

  • Travel – This is always a great topic – think about where you would like to go. Where have you been and what were the highlights or low lights of the trip?
  • Apocalypse – Could you survive without electricity, modern conveniences, etc.?
  • Shipwreck – What would you want to have with you or who? Etc.,
  • Movies – Do you watch television – what shows?
  • Music – What is your favorite music? Do you play an instrument? Favorites?
  • Entertainment – What type of entertainment do you appreciate? Skydiving? Sports? Plays, Concerts?
  • Jobs – Ask what jobs they have had or what their dream job would be?
  • Education – Where did you go to school? Did you like school? What would you like to learn? Do you speak a second language?
  • Interests – talk about anything unusual that you might be interested in – if it is important to you then you may want to see how she reacts to it
  • Money – Everyone loves money and imagining what you would do if you found a million dollars is a topic that could tell a lot about your date. Could she be a gold digger?

Conversation Don’ts

  • Never talk about your previous girlfriends
  • Get to know her better before you use vulgar language
  • Get to knew her better before you talk about s-e-x
  • Do not ask her about her previous boyfriends
  • Do not talk about yourself the whole night
  • Do not be rude to anyone on a first date – don’t think it makes you look impressive and powerful – it doesn’t.
  • Don’t ask her if any of her parts are fake or if her hair color is real
  • Don’t pretend to know everything – it is ok to let your date be smarter than you in the areas where she may have knowledge
  • Do not use words in a negative way such as dummy, idiot, retarded, gay, loser, bimbo
  • Don’t flirt with another female even if your date is a monster

Be yourself!

No matter what you talk about, just be yourself. First date’s are exciting and a little nerve racking at first. Getting the conversation moving in the right direction is the key to being able to relax and have a great date. Have a good sense of humor – everyone loves to laugh and laughing releases endorphins in the brain that make us feel good. If you choose a couple things you know you like to talk about – chances are the conversation will take its own direction and speaking will come naturally.

Try your best to make your date feel comfortable and be pleasant. Your date will no doubt, be a little nervous so if you concentrate on putting her at ease you won’t have to worry so much about saying the wrong thing. Conversation is key in getting to that second date – or knowing if you shouldn’t bother. Make sure you are listening to all the little things and not just the words!